Our Story / Origin File 001
You had at least one
experience.
You had at least one experience of a chilling evening and the thought of a purply grey being saying, “hold still — this won't hurt a bit.”
We know just what you were thinking. It's not — or wasn't — a dream. It was real. And we want to help you commemorate the event.
In fact, we want to celebrate it.
Always released at some point
Why we exist
Apparel for the
Recently Probed.
Classified. Comfortable. Conversation-starting.
There's a very specific kind of person who looks at a government UAP briefing and thinks: “finally, some accountability.” They don't need convincing. They need clothing.
Probe Me exists for the UFO-curious, the quietly certain, the ones who've seen something they don't exactly bring up at dinner — but definitely think about on long drives. We make wearable inside jokes for people who are in on the punchline.
Every shirt is a small act of solidarity. A nod to a stranger in a parking lot who notices the print and gives you that look. You know the look. The “me too” look.
Documented history
The Official Record
-
1947
Roswell. They called it a weather balloon.
It wasn't. You know it. We know it. The cows definitely know it. This is when the idea for Probe Me was technically conceived — we just didn't exist yet. Give us credit for foresight.
-
1987
The First Confirmed Sighting of Uncomfortable Truth
A small child in rural Ohio looked up. Saw something. Told their parents. Was told to go to bed. The child never forgot. That child grew up and founded this company. That child still sleeps with one eye open.
-
2019
The Government Admits It (Sort Of)
The U.S. Department of Defense releases UAP footage. The world collectively shrugs. The true believers nod quietly, make coffee, and start designing t-shirts.
-
2024
Probe Me Goes Live
We launched from a kitchen table with three designs, a heat press, and the unshakeable belief that every person who has been visited deserves a way to say so — tastefully, loudly, on 100% ring-spun cotton.
What we stand for
The Four Tenets
We believe you.
No eye rolls. No "it was just a dream." You know what you saw. We know what you saw. The grey ones left a mark — might as well wear it.
Humor is how we cope.
Nothing processes the unexplainable quite like a good joke printed on a heavy-weight tee. Deadpan is our native language. The beings appreciated it too.
Craft, not kitsch.
Every design is drawn, debated, and printed to last longer than a government non-disclosure agreement. We care about the product as much as the punchline.
Community of the curious.
You're not alone. There are others. We found them, clothed them, and they keep coming back. Partly for the shirts. Partly for the validation.
You've read this far
You already belong here.
The shirts are 100% cotton. The community is 100% convinced. The beings are 100% monitoring this page.
Shop the Collection →